The Campus Story!!

I've never been so good waking up early on a weekend morning, as all the other days I wash my brain at the campus sitting in the classroom and attending labs that are not worth. To me Engineering has become just another part of the day which I have to go through no matter what comes. I drag myself every morning to sit on the table spreading butter on mah toast while swallowing orange juice in small sips and think How the hell I'm gonna help this planet being an Engineer? And here comes Mommy's face in front of ma eyes and my eyes go wide open; "this is how it is and this is how it has to be" i think and walk to the bus stop.

Walking hardly takes 10 mins and there I reach to the stop waiting for the bus to come and this thought pops up again... "Why do I have to do this to myself? Its okay I scored less in my boards but it hardly matters. Who the hell is bothered what I do until i give sumthing good to the society? Why shouldn't I be What I want to?.........Constructing building and designing homes n offices isnt a bad job! And I have it inside me like imagining a empty land into a large construct of bricks and cement and glass...." And everyday the same thing continues. Nobody gets affected except me, Obviously who the hell wants to solve my problem? Nobody. Thinking this the whole day goes and I fall on bed totally exhausted!

I forgot to set an alarm the other day and woke up at 8:00..!! Just had half n hour to get ready for the bus.
First, I made sure I had the fastest shower possible. That's difficult. I love long, hot showers,Who the hell doesn't?? It's probably the most peaceful part of the day. Dressing up in my favourite white t-shirt and a dark blue jeans I rushed to the kitchen, picking up two pieces of toasts and holding them in mouth rushed towards the door, running and reaching the stop almost on time to miss the bus.Whoo i enter and think still chewing the hardend piece of the bread wrapped in the tissue,"how fast my life has become? Should I take a break and stand and look around where I am, what I am doing? Huff! Life has to be fast paced in this fast growing world, I never knew that somebody would come in shower me with emotions that it would change my perspective of looking at life!!

My bus has the worst crowd ever I thought when my thoughts got interrupted by a group of students merry making (shouting and singing at the top of their voice. They dont hav ettiquetes) sitiing at the back seats of the gaint moving vehicle. What do they think of themselves? Dont they understand there are many people travelling along with them and they too have their personal things to talk and think. I hate the atmosphere in there. With an angry face I looked around myself and saw a boy and a girl sitting opposite to me. The boy was coaxing the girl to let him drop a peck on her cheek. My anger vanished n i started laughing inside as I cudn't laugh in front of them and looked out of the window. And suddenly I felt a jolt in my back; the driver had pressed the break hard as the bus was in full speed.Everybody got shocked;I raised myself from the seat and looked ahead in curiosity what the hell went wrong for him doing so. A cow had come in front of the bus from nowhere; it could have taken so many lives sitting in.The bus resumed its drive as everybody setteled down and I going back to my seat looked around to observe how this small incident had changed the moods of the people. The boy opposite who wanted a peck was angry on the driver as due to the break the gurl hit her forehead on the back of the seat in front of her, the students at the back who were howling at top of their voices had settled and didnt speak anything;the only noise I could hear was of the bus making its way to the college and the the sound of the horn everytime the driver pressed it.And the jouney to the Engineering heaven (hell) came to an end, for i reached there and did nothing intresting at all.

My campus is almost 20 kms. from my home and it takes about a 60 min. bus ride to take me there. All the way I make sure not to read as my eyes get strained; all I have left to do is either open my laptop and work or listen to a music number on my ipod!
And in case if someone is sitting next to me then chatter with them on not so intrested topics and make myself bored. Reaching campus all I have to do is go to the class, sit there and keep staring at the faculty who is either taking a roll call or telling us their ratofied story notes they have been preparing since last night.

The canteen is again the worst place as whatever food items are printed on the menu are never available and whatever is available is not at all i repeat not at all safe to eat. you should die of hunger but not eat there. And then the labs are fun to be because you have no practicals to do actually just move around the lab and chatter with the guy you have a crush on(thats what all the gurls in my batch do!) and then go out back to the class. "Where the hell is life here?" I think. "Who the hell says Engineering is fun or being an Engineer is a proud thing to be? I don't think so as for me I would have been happy doing Interiors or constructing buildings! That would have made me do things from the core; not this way you open the books two days before exams and you go and jott down all you crammed!"

"Well this is life Darling!" Mom says when I tell her all this stuff. "If you think that you get all the things that make you happy on this earth then, there would never have been jealousy and devils..!! The Earth would have proved to be another Heaven and don't think that whatever you are doing is of no use! Today you are doing it because tomorrow it will be the only thing that will be of use to you..! So don't worry and give it your best and I must say if you are doing so good without putting in your heart; You'll rock when you put your heart.. Think about it.." And with a faint smile she leaves me thinking!!

                                                                      To  be continued...

Bring change, be the change!

Recently I visited my School after so many years passing by thinking how things have changed after I passed and to see how my teachers have been doing. Parking my car in the parking lot, pressing the security lock key, I turned my head towards the building I grew up learning new things, making my curiosity question things and letting my teachers answer them. "Aah, this is the place I grew up learning new things, making myself capable enough to stand head held high in a society today. How madly I was in love with this place almost 5 years back, no words to this feeling!"

I entered through the gate wished by the Watchman who was someone new I never saw in my time. He let me in to the Supervisor's cabin. The Supervisor(a new one, i didn't knew) sat there with her glasses on the tip of her nose reading school magazine article by a kid of her school; her face was filled with proud and she seemed satisfied and happy that her kids were making a name for themselves and the School.

"Good Morning Ma'm", I interrupted her moment of proudness with a gentle wish.

"Good Morning", she looked at me with surprise, trying to recollect my face in the back of her mind. Fighting with her memory she finally gave up and asked, " Yes ma'm, how can I help you?"

"I apologise for turning up and disturbing you in the school hours but I am an X student of this school and I just thought I would love to see my teachers who helped me through to be what I am today and have a glimpse of how things have changed after I passed out so long.", and I glanced at her with questioning eyes waiting for her to agree.

With a smile on her lips she nodded her head to yes and said, "Sure, take your  time and don't worry - if you have to disturb the classes.. "

I felt a sense of relief and I left her cabin with a smile, walking straight to the pre-primary section of the school and there while I was looking around the wall cartoons I bumped into my pre-primary teacher. I was shocked to see her still there in that same department after so many years. And there you go, she looked at me for a few minutes and finally recognised me.

And bet me the feeling you get being recognised by your first class teacher is something you just cannot imagine until you yourself have one. She took me with her to her own class of 40 students she handled and they all were curious to see a new person coming in. She asked me how I had been and what I was upto.
Just in the middle of our talking a kid came up to her and asked her who I was. She introduced me to them saying I was her student almost thirteen years from now and told them how I grew up studying and what I was going to do with my career. And then she asked them to ask me questions in case if they had any.
A kid raised his hand out of nowhere and before I could say anything he just threw his curiosity at me - "What you do? Why did you come back to school?"

In reply to his question I told him that I was a student of this school like he is and I am going to become a computer engineer soon in the next few months; and I came back to this lovely place because I missed seeing my teachers. And with some more explaination and thankfulness towards my teacher I moved ahead with my journey towards othe classes and the teachers. I felt happy while coming out of the school, making the teachers feel proud and satisfied that thier kid has become somebody who contributes, makes a difference to the society in a positive way.

Driving back home, I was recalling the whole trip I had to that special place in my life. How I had changed, how the school had changed. Change is good isn't it? and it is for the good. For it is you who changes for the better and to do better ahead. You change because you want to accomplish things which you dream of; You change because you want to prove that you can do better than you did yesterday; you change because you want to see and learn new things. You change to see failure through a different perspective in Life and to see life itself through a different perspective. You change to say You are treating life well instead of Life is treating you well. Everything requires a change and the changes let you add that extra charm, the extra cream to your coffee when you sip it with happiness because you feel satisfied that it is you and only you who changed for the better to come, to see, to feel and to understand that what lies ahead might take you through rough phases but in the end the changes will lead you to summit..!

The power to change is the one of the key to success for it is you who lets it happen and the best part, It lets you be You..!

The Nomad!

It was almost midnight, a cold chilling breeze blew while I was on my desk working on my project stuff when suddenly my system speakers gave out a pinging sound and on my screen a chat window flashes.

On the other end there is a person I heard and met a few times but who I thought actually doesn't know me. Sort of a Nomad I hardly come across and when I do I look upon with respect. That night I actually didnt expect him, mine being a red busy status but somehow he managed to ask me this question.

"Hey! Do you have a minute? "

Amazed by his ping not understanding what to reply to his text I waited for a few seconds and replied, "Yeah! Go ahead".

My head was still in thinking process about what he wanted to talk about. Would it be about technology or about studies or about a new coming up course? He is elder, much more experienced and I have just started, somehow it confused me. And then again a pinging sound touched my ear drums and I switched to the chat window.

"Well ... what do you do exactly ? you are still a student or an author or working for a company or all-of-the-above? and an artist too? "

My eyes went wide while I read his question in reply to my green available signal and a smile drew on my lips, my heart beats being pinched and having nothing to write on this I drew a smile in return to his question.

I didn't knew what to answer and how to answer this question. He was right, he just asked me about what all I have been doing this far! But why don't I have an answer to this question? I know I have been a above average student, working and earning for myself n i do have a passion for paintings and writing too but then why does it amaze him so much? What is it that is making him ask me this question?

There are so many people who might be doing so many things together I even haven't thought of and have reached the summit, made a name and have been successful making themselves shine forever. But why did this question pinch me then? 

I went in front of the mirror and looked at myself for a few minutes and asked the same question again. Who am I and why do I do all this? For whom do I have to do so many things? And I felt as if I myself have the answers with me. I know why do I have to do this, I know I have to stand out from the crowd and so I have to do something different. 

I work for knowledge not for living,I work because it teaches me how to manage things while I am completely screwed, I work because it gives me an experience of different types of people and atmosphere around, I work because it makes me bolder each day.

I study for knowledge so i could stand up in front of others with head up high saying I am educated and I have an idea about what they are discussing all the way. I study for I need to make my future not to be dependent on anybody in any sense for anything. I study because it makes me feel independent of having my own views and sharing them. I study for I need to know what is wrong and what is right.

 I write for my own satisfaction for I need to know when I make mistakes, I need to correct them, I need to write everything for it gives me a reason to start from new, afresh again after my failure, i write because reading everything again gives me strength to redo things when they aren't successful.

 I paint because I am Passionate about creativity, about arts, about colors, about nature, about the dreams I see with closed eyes. I paint what I feel like, happiness, anger - every emotion I can depict through paintings which I cant in writing all the time.

And the best part about all this is, no matter how bad I am screwed all these things help me to come out the bad and turn it upside down to good. These things help me take the right decisions and keep me grounded to who I am not letting me be something else And thats the reason I am the way I am.

While writing this I am still thinking about the Nomad person who I don't come across very often but I thank him from the core of my heart for asking me this question because it led me to finding of these answers I should have known long back!

God in Disguise!!

Just a few minutes back I came back home with my final report prints and realised I forgot to get the signatures of my Company Guide in it..! Almost midnight and I thought if I should buzz him or not as a mere sign could screw up my presentation or just my project not eligle to be presented..!

Gathering courage I decided to call him and asked if I could come over to get a sign! He is such an awesome man. With all smiling face(I could imagine by his tone) he said come over I would love to sign it..! I grabbed my car keys and dragged my brother from the bed and threw him in the back seat! Couldn't help as it was mid night Indian roads are not safe to drive alone!

Out of the house area I realised I don't have a pen in hand and I couldn't ask my guide cum boss to bring his pen and put his imprints and on that no shops will be open so late! I looked around for any pharmacist stores or ice-cream parlours where I can borrow a pen and return back as soon as the sign is done! But to my bad luck didnt find anything open.

I saw a group of old age people standing by some closed store! Somehow managed to wake up the younger idiot(my brother obviously) ans asked him to go and ask for the favour! He asked them and to my surprise a teenage guy appeared from that group and showed up with a black marker! The young one told him that we'll return it in few minutes while coming back!

And he settled back in the front seat this time..! One foot on the clutch and the other on the accelerator and putting gears I start driving again to find the home address of the Man( My  Company Guide) somehow reaching a crossroad. As soon as I reached buzzed him and he gave directions which I followed with true sincerity and finally reached the destination.

Rushing out of the car with the certificates and the black borowwed marker I reached to him and requested him to put his so important signature there..!
He said smiling, "I never thought My signature will hold so much of importance."
"It actually does!", I replied smiling.
After done thanking him I said,"Thanks a lot and sorry to disturb you so late in the middle of the night!"

"Its absolutely fine! And I know unless urgent you never actually disturb!", And he waves me and goes back inside his house. And I was pretty happy to know that I actually hold a good impression on him..! And with satisfaction I feel I can sleep back the whole night and get recharged for the next day!

All this while the young one fell asleep on the left and I started the car with a sort of jerk to wake him up! I love to harress and nag him sometimes..! Well that was because he has to go out and return the marker to that teen and I dont want to get bored alone driving!

While returning I put brakes at the same place as the people were standing..! Young one steeped out and went towards the group standing. I could see that the group was still intact but that teen wasn't there! He looked around, here and there but nowhere anybody could find him. He also asked that group if they saw someone and they said they were standing there since last one hour and there was not a single other person except them!

Young one sat back inside and i stepped out to look around but in vain. Disappointed I left the pen with those people to return it to the guy if he returns!

Me and the idiot brother both were thinking how this could be possible. Like a group standing and a teenager comes out with exactly what we want and when we come to return it back neither there is the guy nor anybody of the group has seen him..! That moment for a second I felt like that might be god in disguise somehow knowing that I needed help somehow.

I don't know if actually that guy was god in disguise or not but if he wasnt then it makes sense that people around whom he came out from should have seen him though not known him.! I'm still thinking if this truly happened.>!!

Best Friends!

My best friend was in a relationship with a guy I never liked or maybe say never wanted her to be with him..!Somehow I felt he is not the right person for her.

I still remember the night she called me up saying, "I had a break up yaar! I hate that guy like hell, he isn't even bothered of what I say and feel..............." And she continued speaking and I was hearing her proving to be a good listener!

After completing her talk I asked, "Do you want him back or sab khatam?"

"Yaar dekh, mujhe usse koi problem nahi hai, actually kisise problem nahi hai bas yeh hai ki jo karna hai kare but jo cheez mujhe galat lage mereko batake na kare!"

"Abe oye, agar woh galat kar raha hai and tujhe nahi bata raha to there is no point being with him anymore..! Jab tereko kuch samjhega tab na tere saath share karega and tab na tereko true partner milega..."

"Yeah, you are right but what should I do now? I mean we just had a row and i literally bombarded over him for that idiot bitch whom he brought home from college on his bike! And yeh kiya toh bhi jap nahi hai usko again the next day he did the same.."

"How do you know this?" I asked

"There are many people who tell me much more things than this and everybody sees everything! And agreed he didnt say anything to me but he shudnt have brought her when he knows that she affects me and it'll create a problem when I come to know about it!"

"Well, he actually did a wrong thing and what I suggest is sit together and sort it out! Tell him that he did a wrong thing and he has to accept it! See I'm nobody to speak to him about you both! It is you whom I can talk to and save from falling in a pit!"

"I know you never will want any wrong for me..! Okay, I am coming over to your place; will talk there..!" She announced.

"Okay, come soon", and I hang the phone.

It wa around 11:00 pm in the night when she rung the bell and I opened to welcome her teary eyes! I knew she was in a dilemma and I had to help her solve this as soon as possible and bring her out of it somehow; make her smile again!

After being with this guy for around three years, I must say she had changed a lot! A gurl who was a tomboy now is a gurl who actually behaves like a gurl! Short hair and tennis shoes was what she always preferred and now its long hair and flip flops..! I had seen her change through all these years. I never got to experience any of it all but seeing her I decided i ain't falling in!

I bought her a big tub of choclate ice-cream from the fridge and some chips with a dip.. And I could see her face lit up seeing them! She put a spoonful of ice-cream in her mouth and asked me, "What should I do now?"

"Relax for now and stop thinking about him! you are with me now and when we are together we define insanity.." I smiled looking in her dull eyes and she returned a fake one!

I went to my studio and brought out some color bottles and canvas attched to the isle.                      

"Chal kuch naya banate hain!"

"Yes, I'll use blue and you?" She asked with excitement

"Mmmmm, how about green?" I replied aking.

"Ah, I knew it..! But go for yellow..! We can make green mixing both.. ;)"

"Hmmm, kool!"

And she dipped the flat brush in water and then in the color bottle and stroked something on the canvas; I looked at what she was doing and she turns towards me...

"Its your turns now.."

"yeah! Let me put it this way!" I say and use my turn to make some strokes around!

She laughs and says, "this is going to be a mad work from you and me.. ;) Hehe"

And I giggled and feel happy inside to make the atmosphere light! She was happy to do this and I was satisfied for making her happy..! After all she is the one who's been with me through all ups and downs..!

We continued turn by turn and there in the end, a big blank canvas turns into a beautiful painitng with just two colors of two idiot soul friends!

It was fun making this happen and it was fun to finish off the chips and the dip and by the time we finished she had already forgotten about her problems thats what I had tought..!

It was around 2:00 am now and I asked her to sleep as we had colleges to attend next day!

She simply looked down and then up again and said,

"You have always been my true friend in all means! Thank you..!"

Today that girl is happily married to a person who loves her and respects her to the core and is soon expecting a baby! The best part is she overcame that guy and moved on and it was that night, that painitng we made which helped her not me! She took it away with her to the US and  walled it in her main room.

Its been five years she left India but still we talk regularly and with same depth of friendship which we shared long back! Sometimes I feel, friends are true angels sent by god and its upto us to keep them or let them walk away! I never did allow her to walk away nor did she and the destiny like always will keep us holding.. :)

Mentor For A LifeTime!

Its been long since I had a talk with my mentor. Hearing about my bad health from somewhere he just buzzed me asking, "How are you now? I heard you have some bad health issues!"
"Pretty okay now Sir. How are you doing? Its been long I haven't got a chance to see you. I apologise since was committed to some work..."
And he says, "No, no don't be! Its okay since I know that you look up to me with due respect and I too understand you are one of my favourite students... I wanted to talk to you regarding this since long was just waiting for sometime to see you. Let me know when you get some time and then come over and we can discuss things?"
"Sure Sir, but could you give me a hint what is it about?"
"Oh nothing serious just about using your talent in true means and direction"
And he waves away bidding a bye!
I went through my diary for schedule revising as it was exams coming on head and my Mentor wants to see me. I was pretty happy that day as he had called me after so long as in its my mistake that I didn't contact him but in short there was a sense of happiness and true respect for him!
I called him up that evening and informed him of seeing him next day at the institute..! And he was much happy to hear that. In a sentence he said, "Good! Looking forward to see you!"
Next day evening when I saw him sit at his own old place, with his own sort of an attitude the feeling of respect came flowing in and I was happy to see him..!
I greeted him with a smile and he did welcome me with one..!
"Finally! Hows your health now? And hows everybody at home?"
"Well Sir, I'm pretty good to move around atleast and everyone's fine.. :) How are you doing Sir? "
"You can see me..! I'm as happy and as positive as always! Well I wanted to ask if you could do me a favour with your writing?"
I stared at him for a few seconds with fully open eyes and then asked, "What writing? Didn't get you!"
"Well, see I know you write pretty good enough and I want you to write what I have taught you for so long! The way you have been treated and the way you were build up to see you through all so long... you know what I mean!"
"You mean, you want me to put down things on sheets of how you mentored me all through?"
"Yeah! See I dont know how you would think of it and what you think. I know you respect me and so you are here today even after so many years! And I couldn't find a student like you all these years!"
I look down at the table and look at him and again at the table. I think then.. He is expecting me to write my respect towards him; and putting it to writing, you never know if I can do it or not! I mean I ain't sure if this could work. And I'm not a professional writer!
"Sir, do you think I can make it? I never wrote professionally and my language is pretty simple.."
"The best thing about your writing is, you never wrote without a feeling and I want you to put them in..! Just go ahead I'll review everything and ll get it reviewed from good readers..! Can you do it for me? I would get a gift of life from my favourite student!"
"Sure Sir, I can never say no to you but it'll take time and I dont know how much..! My schedule is such I hardly get time to even think about myself..."
"Go ahead! Write when you feel and just mail it to me! No deadlines..! Its your work and it should be the best..!! Coz you never gave anything except the best.. "
And he winks with a smile! I can see his trust and confidence in me and I wave him a bye and leave!
Coming back home all through the way I think about him since the day I joined him and the day I left..! And after so many years he has been the same and how I changed! He has grown old now and getting older each day..!
With each passing day he expects my mail with a new portion and I expect that I bring out atleast an hour of my day to finish his Dream..! I hope to complete my experiences with him as soon as possible as it'll be my tribute to the Mentor for Lifetime..!!

Suffering Experience!

I recently passed from altogether a phase of life I never imagined can come. I am a final year engineering student and had my internal vivas n submissions going on. Other day at the campus I was pretty thirsty n not finding a single drop of water in my sipper went to the water cooler installed n drank a sip. Felt a bit uneasy n didn't drink again. Went to the canteen but no packaged water was available. Did without water that day. That night i had 104 temperature. Gosh it was like a nightmare n next day again at campus with fever and the next again.My parents were shocked and even was the family doctor as I never suffer from sickness and such a high temperature is unusual. 5 days in a row and the fever doesn't cool down n on that nausea and vomiting had taken out energy of me n didn't let me eat anything. Finally on Friday I got the reports done and I was daigonised with Dengue and Jaundice n phalsipheram(malaria) with mere 50,000 platelet counts( shud be minimum 1,50,000) and was urgently admitted to the hospital. Man when the doctor inserted those syringes felt like this is it; how can they be so cruel keeping on inserting I don't know what sort of things inside the body and telling me I'll be fine soon?. Whole body pained like hell n the nurses kept on giving medications and kept on inserting syringes. Relatives and friends came in n went away I opened my eyes n closed so many people called but i hardly remembered who asked what. 


Everything either looked very bulgy or very thin to me. Dad said I had swelling on my face n when I looked into the mirror it looked too bad. I felt bad at that moment of not taking care while drinking that single sip of water or just eating out at places not safe for ma health. You never know how things can affect you anytime anywhere. It was Diwali festival coming and my whole family is in a dilemma because of me not being well and coming and sitting at the hospital with me whole day is an additional problem. Well to be honest that was the time in the hospital I felt I will never see tomorrow because of the suffering and the weakness.My whole life, studies, paintings, writing, office, relations- I felt as if they are no more and will not be there I might never be able to be what i was again.


Now I am pretty good in a condition to at least sit and work from bed and preparing for my exams coming further.


I had become weak and fragile and I decided to write this down for others. I am lucky enough I have a family to take care of me when I'm down and help me recover from the low time I m going through but time doesn't knock and come and so I m writing this to you. 


To let you all know that please take care while eating and drinking outside. It takes a moment to enjoy and ignore things but then it might cost a suffering of a lifetime. Its good to have fun and for go brunches and dinners but make sure you make it to the best safe place that suits you. .:)